#the way ik HE knows exactly when it was from too because he cited the 2012 win streak in 2022 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

godforbidwomenhavehobbies · 7 years ago

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grenade

Pairing (s): Steve Harrington x Jonathan Byers, Will Byers x Mike Wheeler (mentioned)

Warnings: Self-hate,Self-harm, eating disorders, anorexia, gay love i guess

Word Count:

Part 1/1

(The demogorgan never existed btw, El still exists, she’s just Will’s sister, Jonathan and Nancy are friends because Will and Mike are dating cute ik)

a/n this is modern!stonathan thx

Jonathan Byers enjoyed taking pictures. Anyone who had ever seen him in public or really anywhere could tell you that, due to the fact of him literally always having his camera around his neck. Jonathan took pictures of lots of things. The small lake near his house, his siblings, his records, the sky, you name it, Jonathan took pictures of it. His favorite thing to take pictures of, however, was himself. Not in the mirror, or posing for pictures with his little brother and hoping that they were both in the frame, no. Jonathan took pictures of his tiny, bony wrists, and his hipbones sticking through the band of his boxers. He took pictures of his small hands reaching towards flowers, and of his fingers triggering a lighter. Jonathan displayed most of the pictures he took of things like Will and Mike around his room, most of his walls filled with the black and white shots, but the pictures of himself he kept secret. They were stuck in a pale blue folder, which was hidden under a stack of old essays in a drawer in his desk. The last thing he needed was someone like his mother or Will or Eleven to see them, draw the connections between how skinny he was and how little he actually seemed to eat, and the hateful, tear splashed messages written on the back of the pictures and realize that something was wrong, very wrong. The only picture of himself that he had out in the open was one that Will had taken of him, where he was mid-laugh, sitting on a blanket on the 4th of July, fireworks in the sky. His cheekbones looked sharp as knives, and you could clearly see his collarbones. It was the only picture of himself that he liked.

Steve Harrington longed to one day be the subject of a Jonathan Byers photograph. He watched the shorter boy take pictures of Nancy striking a ridiculous pose against a wall after school one day, both of them gathering around Jonathan’s phone and laughing obnoxiously at the results.He watched Jonathan take pictures of his hands when he thought nobody was watching, not that Steve ever got close enough to see what was so interesting about them. Sometimes he stuck his head into the darkroom that the school reluctantly set up for the photography department, citing a need for “authenticity” or whatever, that Jonathan used after school sometimes to develop his pictures. Jonathan was only in there one out of sixteen times he looked, and it was awkward because Steve looked at the picture of Nancy in bed for too long and Jonathan smirked at him. They never spoke a single word to each other until Tommy texted him in Trigonometry and informed him that “we’re messing with the fag, byers, today after school. we gotta make sure he’s not taking any pictures he’s not supposed to”. Steve agreed, because if he was there, he could control the situation and make sure nobody went too far.

Jonathan exited the building from the West doors, headphones secure in his ears, blasting Wet’s “Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl”, and keeping a close grip on his bag, which contained twelve pictures that would immediately be going into the blue folder, two pictures of Mike and Will giggling and blowing bubbles, a picture of El sticking her tongue out at the camera, and a picture of the four boys and El playing Dungeons and Dragons in the Wheeler’s basement. That was one of his favorites he had ever taken. Mike’s face was partially covered by the big book, but you could see his shining eyes and quirked up nose. Eleven was smiling widely at a joke Dustin had told. Will was making his little puppy dog eyes at Mike. Dustin and Lucas were laughing obnoxiously at Dustin’s joke with cokes in their hands. After he had taken it, Lucas dropped his pop on the carpet, and Mike had leaned over the table to peck Will on the lips, causing El to wrinkle her nose in mock disgust and Dustin to pretend to gag. Nancy and Jonathan were babysitting them that night, and the kids had all fallen asleep on the living room floor just after 2 AM, Mike and Will holding hands loosely, Dustin and Lucas each curled up to a bag of candy, and Eleven still holding her figurine from the game.

He was met at his car by the three people he detested most in life. Well, the two people he detested most and Steve Harrington, who he couldn’t really figure out. Whenever Steve was alone, he was kind, almost friendly to Jonathan, but when he was joined by Tommy and Carol, he became cruel and vicious for no reason other than to impress his stupid friends. Tommy smiled at him unkindly and stuck an arm out to stop him as he tried to move past them to get into his car.

“Hello, fairy boy. Just curious, what exactly do you take pictures of all the damn time? Because it’s kinda creepy, and weird.” Tommy narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to Jonathan

“I-I-I don’t take pictures of anything except my-my friends and the sky and stuff.” Jonathan stuttered out, looking down, wishing Nancy was here to help him, but Nancy had left school early for a dentist appointment, Jonathan was alone.

“Bullshit. Stacy, you know Stacy? Stacy Miso? She walked into the dark room the other day and saw some weird pictures of Nancy Wheeler that you were hanging up. Pictures of her asleep.”

“No, Nancy and I are friends, I-I-I was staying at her house, we were watching the kids together.” Jonathan blushed, he had given those pictures to Nancy already, she loved it when he took candid pictures of her where she “actually looked pretty”, in her words.

“Save it, freak. If you take creepy pictures of Nancy while she’s sleeping, I wonder what you take of other girls at school?” Carol giggled at this, but a glare from Steve shut her up. He still hadn’t said a word.

“Tommy, I don’t take pictures of anyone without their permission except for my friends and my brother and sister, so please, leave me alone.” Jonathan tried to shoulder his way past Tommy, who in turn yanked Jonathan’s messenger bag off his shoulder and tossed it to Steve.

Steve silently opened the bag and pulled out the sixteen photos Jonathan had developed that afternoon. This was it. Everyone was gonna know now. Those twelve photos were some of the best he had taken of himself. There was even a particular damning one of him holding a lighter and burning his bony wrist with it. (He used self-timer, which was pathetic enough as it was.) He closed his eyes and waited for the confused questions that would come first, and then the laughter that was sure to come and then oh god they would tell everyone and Nancy would ask Mike what was going on and Mike would ask Will and Will and Eleven would tell their mother and his life was over he might as well just end it now- and then he heard Steve speak.

“Guys, go home.”

Wait, what?

Evidently, Tommy thought the same thing, because when Jonathan opened his eyes tentatively, Carol and Tommy were no longer looking at him. They were looking at Steve.

“I said ‘go home’. I can handle this.”

“What are you playing at here, Harrington?” Tommy ground his teeth, speaking under his breath to Steve.

“I’m not playing at anything. There are no pictures of anyone you know in here, unless you make a habit of knowing dorky middle schoolers. So go home. I can take it from here.”

“Whatever, Steve. You’re fucking weird, man.”

Tommy shook his head and grabbed Carol’s hand, leading her away from the two boys standing by Jonathan’s car.

“So you’ve said, Tommy.”

Tommy and Carol get into Tommy’s Mercedes and speed out of the parking lot.

“Thanks.” Jonathan moved to grab the pictures and his bag from Steve’s grip, but he merely moved them out of his reach.

“Don’t thank me. Explain. What the fuck is this?”

“What’s what?”

“Don’t play dumb, Byers. What the hell is this? Why are you taking pictures of some skinny ass wrists and shit?” Jonathan blushed and shuffled his feet at that statement.

“‘M not skinny.” He mumbled to the ground.

“What?” Steve narrowed his eyes at this, hoping he had heard wrong.

“I said, I’m not skinny.” Jonathan looked at Steve while he said this, hoping he would just drop it.

“This- This is you?” Steve looked as though he had a bad taste in his mouth, and he kept staring at the picture on top of the pile.

“Well, yeah.”

“Wanna explain to me why the fuck you’re so skinny? And why the hell you’re burning yourself in this picture?”

“I just told you, I’m not skinny. And I don’t have to explain anything to you, Harrington.” Jonathan reached for his stuff, and this time Steve relented, passing it off to him as thought it meant nothing.

“Let it go, Steve. I mean it.”

Jonathan gets in his car and drives away, watching Steve in the rearview mirror, hoping to God he doesn’t mention anything.

Hey ok so let me know if you want a part 2 to this! I hope you enjoyed it!

#stranger things #stonathan #steve harrington #jonathan byers #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #eleven #will byers #stonathan fanfiction #eating disorder tw #self harm tw

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ikemcrux-blog · 5 years ago

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IS SATURATED FAT BAD? NO. BUT IT’S NOT A HEALTH FOOD EITHER.

You were wrongly taught to fear saturated fat for decades. Now it’s making a comeback, however, claims about saturated fat’s benefits may be going too far. More than 60 years ago, in the court of public opinion, the American public convicted saturated fat of an unforgivable crime: attempted murder of a U.S. president. In 1955, while on vacation in Colorado, Dwight Eisenhower suffered a heart attack. “Suddenly people were frantic to understand the cause of heart disease,” says Jonny Bowden, Ph.D., and author of Smart Fat. In the years that followed, fat—and specifically saturated fat—took the blame. If you’ve spent most of your life avoiding saturated fat, this moment is a big reason why. The day after Eisenhower’s heart attack, the president’s physician recommended the nation cut down on fat and cholesterol, citing the work of a nutritionist named Ancel Keys.

How Saturated Fat Became a Villain

Later that decade, Keys published research connecting countries that consumed the most fat with higher rates of heart disease. His “Seven Countries Study” wielded great influence on how Americans eat. In 1977, a Senate select committee cited Keys’ research while making sweeping recommendations to the American people, stating you should consume less red meat — and by extension, less saturated fat — to avoid heart disease. That message hardened into national policy when the government issued the 1980 Dietary Guidelines for Americans, which advised people to trim the fat from their steaks and avoid saturated-fat foods like butter, cream, and coconut oil.

Why Saturated Fat Made a Comeback

Today Keys' research is under fire. An analysis by researchers at Harvard looked at 21 studies and found no link between saturated fat and heart disease (or stroke). In 2014 an analysis of 76 observational studies and randomized controlled trials from the University of Cambridge concluded, “saturated fatty acids were not associated with coronary disease.” (The study also noted that some saturated fatty acids, notably the margaric acid found in dairy foods, was actually associated with a lower risk of heart disease.) Finally, a couple of years later, a third meta-analysis published in the British Medical Journal reached a similar conclusion. After looking at more than 62,000 people in 10 randomized trials, researchers found that while reducing saturated fat helped to lower cholesterol levels, the effect didn’t translate to a lower risk of death. And death is what matters in this debate, ultimately.

Saturated Fat Isn’t Evil. But Does That Mean It’s Healthy?

The seeming turn of the tide within the scientific literature has led to an even bigger shift in public perception. Today you’re hearing loud messages from popular health pundits proclaiming that saturated fat is actually a long lost health food. Some even say you should get more of it by drinking butter in your coffee. Wait. What? Now’s a good time to call a timeout and look at what’s really going on in this debate. Because both sides have gotten a little carried away. Let’s start with the first side of the pendulum swing, starting all the way back with Eisenhower’s heart attack. It was a gross oversimplification to place all the blame for that heart attack — and eventually, heart attacks in general — on saturated fat. First, let’s look at Eisenhower. The man was president at the time, and a five-star general before that — both stressful jobs, to say the least. Ike was also known to have a temper, and at one point smoked four packs a day. It’s fair to say there were confounding lifestyle issues.

WHILE SOME WORRY ABOUT THE SATURATED FAT IN RED MEAT, CHEESE IS A FAR BIGGER CONTRIBUTOR TO SATURATED FAT INTAKE. Second, saturated fat isn’t necessarily something most people eat in excess. The USDA and World Health Organization recommend you cap your saturated fat consumption at 10 percent of your daily calories. A 2007 analysis by researchers at Rutgers University showed saturated fat makes up about 11 percent of the average American diet. The top sources of saturated fat being full-fat cheese (8.5 percent), pizza (5.9 percent), and cakes and pastries (5.8 percent). It’s also true, as Sat-Fat supporters love to point out, that Ancel Keys' research showed correlation, not causation. “The lowest evidence,” as Bowden described it. Modern-day reviews have not been kind to the study’s findings. “The most recent evidence, which reviews all the evidence from the past decade, shows that when you feed people more saturated fat, that doesn’t increase their chance for heart disease,” says Kamal Patel, director of the nutrition research website Examine.com. But Patel quickly adds, “That still doesn’t mean that saturated fat is good for you.”

The Connection Between Saturated Fat and Cholesterol

There’s a lot we don’t yet know for certain about saturated fat’s effects on the body. But here’s one thing we do know: Saturated fat does increase LDL (i.e. “bad”) cholesterol. This has been proven many times. Elevated LDL doesn’t guarantee you’ll have a heart attack — a possible explanation for the researchers’ null association between saturated and heart disease. It’s just one risk factor among many. But the general consensus is that if your goal is to live longer, keeping your LDL low should still be part of the plan. “If you have two people who are exactly the same except that LDL is high in one person and low in the other, the person with high LDL will still be at a higher risk ,” says Dr. Spencer Nadolsky, a physician and osteopath based in San Diego. So modern evidence shows that, at the very least, the once dogmatic fear of saturated fat is overblown. But Nadolsky and others caution that this doesn’t necessarily mean you should actively seek more saturated fat within your diet. “Look at the Blue Zones,” says Nadolsky, referring to areas of the world where people live the longest. “Their cholesterols are low. They’re not putting butter in their coffee, but at the same time, they’re not entirely avoiding saturated fat.” In fact, they consume lots of dairies, mostly in the form of yogurt and cheese (albeit from sheep and goats, rather than cows). “I’m not anti-saturated fat,” adds Nadolsky. “The problem is when people say, ‘Look! Saturated fat’s not bad for you now!’ Then you get people putting butter in their coffee. And what I’m seeing, and other doctors are seeing this as well, is that people are having explosive changes in their cholesterol.”

Saturated Fat and Your Diet: Here’s What to Do Now

You may not need to make any changes at all. Your body doesn’t actually need saturated fat. “There are only two essential fatty acids,” says Patel. Those are alpha-linolenic acid (an omega-3) and linoleic acid (an omega-6)—both of which are unsaturated. While some people thrive on diets high in saturated fat, your body might not. For some people—it’s unclear what percentage of the population—small amounts of saturated fat lead to big changes in cholesterol levels. “We call them hyper-responders,” Nadolsky says. Some day there may be a reliable genetic test that will show who these people are, but it doesn’t exist yet. It’s safe to say that if heart attacks are part of your family health history, you’d be smart to keep your saturated fat intake within the existing 10 percent recommendation. “If you have people in your family who had heart disease, despite having normal cholesterol, then you should probably do everything you can to decrease your risk,” Patel says. But if you’re still interested in adding more saturated fat to your diet, there is a relatively easy way to monitor how your body reacts to it. Schedule two cholesterol tests spaced one month apart. Take the first test while eating your current diet. Then make the dietary changes you wanted and take the second test. This is the approach Nadolsky uses to assess his clients. “You can tell pretty quickly if you’re going to have big changes to your LDL cholesterol,” he says. Another test, which some experts say is more accurate and should replace the standard cholesterol test, examines your blood’s concentration of apolipoprotein B, or the cholesterol-carrying protein that embeds itself within arterial walls. The apoB test, as it’s called, looks specifically at the particles of greatest threat. “When we check cholesterol , we’re just measuring the cholesterol on that low-density lipoprotein,” says Nadolsky. “But what really gets stuck in the wall is the lipoprotein, and that actually correlates better with risk.”

The Healthier Way to Eat More Saturated Fat

If bloodwork sounds too intense for you, then consider a simpler and safer way to add more fat to your diet: Skip the butter and eat nuts, avocado, and olive oil (all proven healthy fats) instead.

OLIVE OIL, AVOCADO, AND NUTS CONTAIN PROVEN HEALTHY FATS. “The safest fat to eat is monounsaturated ,” says Patel. “They always have a benign or positive effect on lipids, and on the end result for heart disease and heart attack.” Another saturated fat source that’s become popular in recent years is medium-chain triglycerides in the form of MCT oil, which is one of the saturated fat additives people have begun adding to their coffee in recent years. “MCTs don’t have to go through the liver, so they’re available for your body to use more quickly,” says Patel. That can be useful during extremely low-carb diets when you need energy. But Nadolsky adds, “I wouldn’t have anybody replace their olive oil or nuts with MCT oil. I don’t want to replace the fat that we know is beneficial with fat that may be of some little benefit for fat loss.” The bottom line is that saturated fat is a nutrient, not something that your entire diet should revolve around. The body of evidence, taken as a whole, indicates that saturated fat is neutral. You should neither go out of your way to eat more of it nor concern yourself with avoiding it. “You shouldn’t be scared of saturated fat,” says Nadolsky. “But you’d be better off focusing on your overall diet.” Read the full article

#diet #fatloss #healthyeatingtips #research

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isaacapatow · 1 year ago

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"I'll save my tell-all for Penthouse, if it's all the same to you." Ike gave Lucien a lazy smile, a lazier shrug. "Your writing's a little high-brow for my kind of story. My life goes better with a glossy centerfold spread when people need a break. You could hit up Davey boy or Ermano if you want something ..." Ike paused. "What's the book version of the Academy Award? I don't know. But a book-Oscar. Those guys would deliver, plenty of guts and glory and self-sacrifice for the good of others."

But once all that was out, the sort of relentless redirection that Ike employed without regret or care, it left behind a film of unease. He didn't want to sound dismissive of Lucien's actual offer, after all, his talent and his life's work and his bonafide interest. It took no small amount of cojones for Lucien to let people in Redwood read his own writing when he'd have to live cheek-by-jowl with them after and endure the sort of pestering that Ike was constantly plaguing him with, the is-this-a-true-story nagging all the time (it was roguishly charming when Ike did it, of course; probably less so from other people).

So: "I don't mind talking to you about it, if you really do wanna know. I'm just not used to that." He paused. "And it's not very comfortable stuff." Another pause. "For most people to hear about."

There, that was enough. Ike turned his attention back to the artwork, and the complex question that Lucien was challenging him with. Licking his teeth, he said, "It works as a pretty good stopgap coping mechanism, physical pain to distract from the emotional pain. But you're right. It's not exactly sustainable. And half the time people end up moving on from one kind of hurt to the next instead of dealing with what's happening inside." Ike gnawed on the inside of one cheek, dithering, the words on the tip of his tongue to stamp a name onto this theoretical conversation, to provide collateral and formulate a treatment plan, but he resisted. Swallowed it back down. There were promises on both sides to keep.

And well decided, too; Ike listened to Lucien renounce sainthood while standing in this musty circle of Christ lashed thirty-nine times fifty times over, the muddled light from the one fixture and the various ones outside dappling Lucien's strong-featured, melancholy-handsome face to match the sonorous words rejecting canonization. It was distressing but not enough to escape being arousing. When Lucien tipped Ike's chin up, it didn't seem out of place to this conversation in the slightest. Ike half expected to be fed a sliver of bread and sip of wine with it.

But it was a different sort of penance that followed. Ike stood planted where he was and watched Lucien move away as he cited Mayra's being in love as the reason they weren't going to be getting any closer. "Ah," Ike said, and got stuck there.

Girl-feelings, they were precious.

"Your brother clocked me too," Ike said instead, not moving. Everything he'd swallowed swirled back up, promises be damned. "Because he needs to be hurt, and he needs to bleed and be put on his knees and have somebody take away all of the shit that he can't think his way through, because at least when he's in physical pain that makes sense to him. And I stopped doing it for him so he socked me one. I should be sending your family a fucking bill for services rendered."

"You know how we writers are. We only do deep." He didn't know if it was denial or dishonesty or oblivion that was coloring Ike's words, wasn't sure if he would ever work out that riddle. He could go from hubris to self-deprecation in the same breath and Lucien didn't know which part lay closer to the truth, which one to the truth he had made himself believe.

But he wasn't going to question any of it. Instead he looked at him as the man looked at the painted blood and spoke of a past life that seemed so long ago but was part of the paint that made the work of a man that he now was. "You've never told me much about who you were before. Not that you have to," he shrugged, and he meant it. "But if you ever want a memoir written, I know a guy who would love to sit and listen."

Ike's fingers barely touched the canvas and for a moment he wondered what they would feel like on his skin. "I can't be the one to say if it's bad. But aren't the mind and body too intrinsically linked? Can you really degrade one while uplifting the other? God knows that when my body got fucked, and not in a good way, my head was never in the right place either." He makes two, three small circles with his cane, one end anchored in the wooden floor, trying to remember the emptiness of his hand before it, failing.

There it was. Lucien's gaze shifted between the metaphorical cross he was being nailed onto and Ike's eyes that were just as penetrating. He let him talk without a response, just a sad smile playing on his lips and a warmth building somewhere low with every word of his. "I'm not a saint, Isaac. Deification is buried somewhere far away, I've drowned it with my own two hands," his voice came out in a whisper, as he raised his free hand and ran a finger up the man's throat, gracefully tilting up his chin. "You've read the book."

He broke the spell with a step back, tugging his hand free and turning his back to him, walking to another painting close by, blood dripping from the corner of Christ's jaw, unclear if he was spitting it out or drinking it in. "I'm not fucking you because Mayra said she's in love with you. And screw all the angels and demons and whoever else made me want it this much, I'm not doing this to her."

#tfh.event #with: lucien #p: luc002 #😬

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lymanjosh · 6 years ago

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do you have any tips on bringing up ADHD to a therapist? I desperately need help for it but I don’t want my concerns dismissed because stuff like adderall is heavily misused :(

i had like two pages of an answer for this (and it was coherent, even, if you can believe it) and then i refreshed the page like a dumbass so this is take 2, which is Less Coherent and im sorry but theres nothing i can do about it

so im not an authority on the subject or anything, and i don’t know your situation, and also ive been diagnosed for like 2 weeks, so you can pretty much take everything i say with a grain of salt. what im gonna do is im gonna run through my own experience / what i wish i did differently / what im doing now, and i hope it helps, and you can totally feel free to come back if you wanna talk more at all once im finished!! and i really hope that at least something i say here is of help to you

also this is gonna be rambly and im sorry about that but i don’t know any other way to be. im gonna preemptively forgive myself because youre like me so you get it but im sure it’s not easy to read so for that i apologize.

tldr: know concretely why you think you have ADHD and what treatment options you want to pursue, do like 3 times more research than you think you need to do, write down all your symptoms in advance, cite your past history of mental health treatment if you have one, and try not to worry too much. if your therapist is any good at their job they’ll know you’re not just drug-seeking, and they’ll recognize the symptoms and problems you discuss when you bring them up in the context of ADHD. probably you’ll be okay, and you’ll get the treatment you need.

so i spent most of my teen years in a drug-addled haze. i was depressed and anxious because i couldn’t Fucking Do Anything, and my parents were worried so they took me to the doctor, and the doctor was worried so she sent me to another doctor, and this continued for a long time and i was on like 4 different antidepressants and 4 different antipsychotics and also some anti-anxiety meds between the ages of like 15 and 16. it was heavily traumatic and also not fun, and the reason all this happened was that nobody stopped to think that maybe i might share some genes with my dad, who has been diagnosed inattentive since before i was born.

right off the bat i should have been way more up in arms about self-advocating, which is something you’re clearly doing, so that’s awesome and you should give yourself a pat on the back because that’s really difficult in the mental health industry especially when you’re already fighting your own brain on most things.

hopefully you haven’t been through a wringer of false diagnoses and nonsensical prescriptions, but if you have, then you can guilt your doctor a little bit. “i was traumatized! i was given dangerous psychoactive drugs during a critical phase of neural development! you have to give me stimulants to atone for your sins!” phrase it exactly like that, it’s like a silver bullet. in all seriousness if you ahve past diagnoses of anxiety or depression or anything to do with emotional dysregulation that can help your case, because you can point out that a) these things are common misdiagnoses for adhd, and b) the symptoms for these things logically emerge from things like emotional hyperarousal and rejection-sensitive dysphoria.

what i should have done, and what i think you should do, is write down your symptoms in advance, because then you won’t have to spend an hour hemming and hawing and trying to thnk of them all in the doctor’s office. i did not do this. it didn’t prove to be a problem because my doctor was kinda irresponsible but i really should have done this, just for my own benefit.

when i actually brought it up to my doctor that i might have adhd i had a couple different things going for me. i was talking to my GP, and not my therapist; im not in therapy (which you can probably tell) because therapists creep me out, but i think physicians are probably more inclined to throw drugs at it than therapists are. my GP was also brand new to my case– i had never even met the guy before. i mentioned my history of mental health treatment, and i also mentioned my dad being diagnosed, and im also a girl (girls are chronically underdiagnosed and extremely likely to be misdiagnosed with either anxiety or depression), so i had some concrete facts to support why i had suspicions. i had also done a shit ton of research beforehand, so i advise you to do that– know concretely why you think you have adhd and what treatment options you want to pursue.

you might benefit from talking about it with your doctor before your therapist, but idk that might just be my fear of therapists talking. i think a doctor is less likely to want to taco bout it than a therapist but that may just be my specific experience– you know your situation better than i do. and admittedly a therapist is more likely to, like, Know You and know what you’re talking about when you say (for example) that you’ve always struggled with emotional dysregulation, or whatever.

something else that might help you– i wish i had done this not because i don’t want to look like a drug-seeker but because i Miss Coffee– is to bring up non-stimulant treatments like strattera (for adults) or kapvay or intuniv (both for children but sometimes prescribed to adults) because it’ll show you’ve done your homework and it might be a point against writing you off. stimulants are usually the first resort for adhd, so it’s highly likely you’ll end up on adderall or another stimulant, but it’s good to bring up as an option. might also be good to research it as a serious course of action, especially if you suffer with anxiety, because stimulants are likely to make you more anxious.

i would also advise you not to fixate on adderall? idk enough about your situation to know if you’ve done that but it’s good to be open to other medications and treatment plans bc if adderall doesn’t work for you it doesn’t work and there’s not a ton you can do about it. you should for sure read up on other treatments– you might find one that sounds more appealing, or at the very least you’ll know what to think if your doctor brings up another one unexpectedly.

so i brought up to my doctor that i might have adhd and he immediately plonked a questionnaire in front of me. i filled it out (spoiler alert most of my answers were “often”) and he was like “oh this is textbook, let’s get you on adderall” which like WHAT. i didn’t even ask about adderall. like im not gonna argue with you but let’s talk about this first before we break out the stimulant medication. but i’ve been on it for a couple days and no major side effects yet so maybe he was right who knows. anyway he was super irresponsible don’t let your doctor just prescribe you meds at random go through the side effects. always ask about the side effects. i get such bad headaches after it wears off. i have one now and its Bad.

but as an addendum you should for sure be prepared to use other coping mechanisms. i’ve started using a bullet journal since i was diagnosed which i’ve found works really well, and youtube channels like howtoadhd are really helpful to me!! i try to use the meds sparingly because i Don’t Like taking pills and also bc adderall can be habit forming, and because i hope to eventually be able to function without it, and i advise you to think of it the same way. drugs don’t have to be a permanent fixture in your life– you can use it as a temporary tool while you build up the necessary coping mechanisms and mental pathways to function without it. adhd isn’t broken brain, it’s just brain on hard mode, if you know what i mean. i try to think of the meds as training wheels– i learn to function with it, and then i gradually learn to function without it. so idk if that’s a useful way to think about it for you but to me it feels more hopeful than resigning myself to a lifetime on more drugs. idk.

but even if you’re okay with that, adderall isn’t gonna make you functional (it might. kinda feel like you’re magically functional. that’s how i feel right now, that is to say when im not headaching.) so you have to have systems in place to make it easier for yourself. some kind of productivity app might help ig (i used ike for like 3 days and then my phone died and i forgot to charge it for a week because that happens to me sometimes, but i liked ike!) but i like analog todo lists. feels good checking stuff off. either way is good though.

also get your phone to send you alerts. also rearrange your stuff. like, make the world around you conducive to your functioning. do your best to create and live in a space that enables you to do the things you need to do. get accommodations at school if you need to (i haven’t done this and can’t tell you how but there are a ton of online tutorials and you can probably just google your school + accessibility, or something, and that’s assuming you even go to school)

but yeah i hope any of that was helpful to you and im sorry to make you do 1 million hours of deciphering my shitty informal writing style and i love you and i want to help you please come back and let me know how everything goes bc im gonna worry about you otherwise

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beardedwinnerobject-blog · 7 years ago

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Car bill of sale/insurance?

"Car bill of sale/insurance?

Im 18 with no licence Im actually in the process of trying to get my licence well my question Is can a family member Put me under there car insurance so i can Register my car since the Bill of sale Is under my name? Im not planning on driving the car until i have my licence

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Cheapest car insurance for a minor?

Okay, I'm about to purchase a 1995 Volkswagon Cabrio, but I need insurance on it and I'm only 17. I have a missouri permit currently, but I will have my license as soon as I get the insurence so that I can take the test. If it helps at all I have a 4.5 gpa, near perfect attendence, volunteer work, dual-enrollment credit, and extra-curriculars. I just cannot afford the prices I have been seeing for the few companies that will give me insurance and I would appreciate any suggestions for cheap liability.""

Do you need to pay for insurance if you're using a family car?

Im 16, and am getting my license soon. Do i need to pay the $1500 dollars a month for insurance, or does the family insurance cover me? Im wondering if the insurance is for the person, or the car that the person is driving.""

Insurance for first cars?

When I'm 18 an hopefully passed my test I want to get either a VW scirocco, a Peugeot RCZ or a Mazda mx5. But I've been told insurance companies will refuse to insure me because it's my first far so is this true or how much would it roughly cost Thanks""

Free Auto Insurance Quotes At What Website?

I have been looking for a site that gives Free Auto Insurance Quotes, everywhere I have found wants to charge me or run my credit. Can anyone help me? All I want is a Free Auto Insurance Quote is that to hard to find?""

How much does it cost to insure a 2003 hyundai accent 4 door?

Car insurance question???

i have just had my car stolen and was wandering if it was worth claiming on. It is insured for 2500 and they are willing to right it off and pay up but I have a new car that I need to get insurance for. My cheapest qoute is 450. Anyone have a rough idea how much my insurance would go up if I claimed for my old car?? Basically... should i just accept my losses on the old car or claim. cheers

How does car insurance work?

So I am planning on asking my friend to borrow his car to drive when he's going to travel, but I do not have any insurance. Is it okay for me to drive? His car has insurance, but I do not have insurance under my name. Does that mean if I bump into something, I will get into trouble, even though the car has insurance?""

Car bill of sale/insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/homeowners-insurance-quotes-online-progressive-lawrence-arnold/"

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2peasinapodme-blog · 7 years ago

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Our 2-week experiment of living like locals in Portland, OR (cont’d)…

As we reluctantly approached the end of our 2-week “trial period” of living like local Portlanders, we experienced a wave of contrasting emotions — first, we felt the mounting pressure to see and do as much as humanly possible in our remaining three days…coupled with a nagging feeling of disappointment at the idea of soon leaving this beautifully odd place…yet, at the same time, thrilled at the prospect of being able to return again soon…and next time as official Oregon residents. People have many different ways of dealing with complex emotions. I’ve always found that eating and drinking are pretty good distractions, and we happened to be in the perfect place to drown our sorrows (or celebrate our good fortune, depending on how you look at it) with trendy cocktails and soothing ramen.

Day 12:

If you’ve recently searched for a new home, you know that Sunday afternoons = residential open houses. And in our effort to reconnoiter the entire Portland real estate market during our two-week stay, we spent both Sundays canvassing open houses. Anxious to get to know the market as deeply as possible, we endeavored to see everything in our target price range and our desired neighborhoods, but also homes above or below, near and far, just to supplement our mental data base of knowledge so that when the time comes to pounce, we’ll be ready. As a result of our extensive research, we discovered some interesting, new areas, saw some really dreadful houses and learned exactly how far out of town is too far for our liking. Bottom line: Mike is still very optimistic and fully convinced that we will eventually find our dream home…I am slightly less so. Not to be a pessimist, it’s just that it’s a dog-eat-dog world in the Portland real estate market — and I much prefer to call myself a realist.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the real estate market in Portland has exploded in the past five years due to the recent influx of tech companies moving to the area, as well as the flood of people, like us, who are relocating to PDX because of its many positive attributes. As a result, housing prices have become grossly inflated to a point that, in some cases, it’s almost offensive. But does that minor road bump dissuade us or veer us off course? Of course not. It just makes us even more resolute in finding that hidden diamond in the rough.

That evening, after a long and fairly discouraging day of house hunting, we decided to reward ourselves with a meal that would assuage our sorrows, and the logical solution was, naturally, ramen…the greatest comfort food of all. Portland is a ramen town, pure and simple. I mean, what’s better than tucking into a steaming bowl of slurping noodles on a drizzly day? You will find ramen shops on practically every block of every quadrant of the city. Is it a passing trend or does it have staying power? No one knows for sure. But at the same time, there’s no indication that Portlanders are losing interest. A majority of the ramen shops around town are situated in neighborhood store fronts, hole-in-the-wall carry-out restaurants or even food trucks, but there are three notable exceptions that have achieved critical recognition and are considered to be the best in Portland — Marukin, Noraneko and Afuri. We decided to try the latter based on its consistently superior reviews and close proximity to the house.

Located in what appears to have been a mechanics’ garage in the city’s east central district, we were initially struck by the enormity of the restaurant. This is definitely not your average mom-and-pop shop! Afuri (923 SE 7th Ave.) is a study of contrasts — from the industrial feel of the garage doors and the soaring exposed ceilings to the glimmering minimalist sake bar and the simple, unadorned tables and counters of the main dining area (below center). The open chef’s kitchen occupies the entire west side of the restaurant providing seating for a dozen or more patrons, and immediately we knew that’s where we wanted to be seated, so we could watch the action in the kitchen.

With no advance reservation, we took our chances that there would be a wait to be seated at the kitchen counter, and were prepared to hunker down at the bar (below) until seats opened up. It must have been our lucky night, however, as we had barely scanned the sake menu when we were informed that our seats were ready.

From the end of the counter, we had a panoramic view of the bustling kitchen and an up-close look at the final prep station, where they were turning out beautiful steaming bowls of ramen and putting the finishing touches on other enticing dishes.

The most ironic aspect of our visit to Afuri was that, despite our initial plan, we ended up not ordering the ramen for which they are so acclaimed. We had every intention of testing the validity of the critical claims, but when we spied the substantial portions of ramen coming out of the kitchen, we knew that we could either settle into a bowl of ramen or we could sample a variety of their other very tempting menu items. But before we could focus on our menu selections, we needed some libations to ease the process, and we were certain that a sake flight would help us make the most inspired decisions.

No, Afuri is not just a ramen house, not by a long shot. Their extensive menu ranges from cold and hot appetizers to grilled skewers to sushi and sashimi, a small selection of entrees, and eight different ramen and tsukemen (in which noodles are served separate from the broth) dishes…and all of it looked incredible coming out of the kitchen. After much deliberation, we started with the char-grilled shishito peppers with bonito flakes and tamari which were perfectly grilled so as to be infused with the wonderful smoky char flavor yet still sufficiently crisp and tender…

…followed by two cold sashimi appetizers: the hamachi jalapeno carpaccio with yuzukosho viaigrette…

…and the albacore crudo with fried lotus root and tataki sauce. Both were outstanding and plentiful, well worth the $15 price point.

Additionally, we selected Afuri’s karaage (deep-fried chicken thigh) served with yuzukosho egg salad…

Karaage has long been a favorite of my children. Long before they had an appreciation for sushi (which, btw, was much gentler on my wallet), we were able to lure them to Japanese restaurants with the simple mention of karaage. I have seen it prepared in a variety of ways — bone-in, bone-out, lightly battered, tempura-style and so on — but this was one of the very best I have encountered. The coating was perfectly crispy and crunchy, and the use of boneless chicken allowed the batter to drizzle down into all the nooks and crannies. Yet the chicken was still juicy, tender and undeniably flavorful, just the way you would expect it to be.

Finally, the delicious spider roll was prepared in the traditional style but was elevated by the well-executed soft shell crab tempura and the house-made spicy aioli.

Without a doubt, it was an outstanding meal through and through, even without their celebrated ramen. And furthermore, we have something to look forward to upon our inevitable return.

Day 13:

A few months back, I read a Thrillist citing the best chicken wings in the United States, and Pok Pok’s Vietnamese fish sauce wings were included in that list, so we made it our mission to test their worthiness while in PDX. Located at 3226 SE Division, just a block from where we were staying, we had probably passed Pok Pok a dozen times, and each time there had been a line of eager patrons waiting to be seated. In fact, on Saturday night when we foolishly attempted to just pop in, we were informed the wait would be an hour-and-a-half to two hours. So, this time, we decided to go for lunch and to get there right as they were opening. This insightful strategy proved effective, as we were seated right away. Because it was a fairly chilly day, the hostess guided us past the bar and through the open-air restaurant to an inconspicuous interior dining room that we didn’t even know existed.

Pok Pok PDX at 3226 SE Division is the restaurant group’s original location, and its characteristic rustic, casual ambiance — with corrugated tin roof, simple wooden tables and dine-in counters — embodies the atmosphere of a typical southeast Asian restaurant.

Pok Pok PDX

The distinctive menu offers a variety of dishes inspired mainly by the cuisine of northern Thailand but also incorporating other southeast Asian items, as well. You won’t find your typical Americanized Thai dishes on this menu – no Pad Thai, no Pad Woon Sen, no noodles at all really – but what you will find are beautifully prepared, traditional Thai dishes that are truly outstanding. Pok Pok’s food is intended to be shared family style, so even though we were just two, we ordered a couple of items to share. We started with the Vietnamese Fish Sauce Wings, of course (the whole reason we were there). While I’m not convinced that these belong on the list of the “best chicken wings in the country,” I will agree that they were very nicely done, and I’m certainly willing to give them a second try…in the name of research, of course. With a slightly crispy crust on the outside and tender, juicy chicken on the inside, they were definitely meaty and satisfying. I suppose I expected more of the fish sauce flavor to come through, and while they were quite tasty, they could have been even more pungent and flavorful.

Ike’s Vietnamese Fish Sauce Wings, Pok Pok PDX

Being careful not to overeat, as we had at so many other lunch destinations, we decided to order only one additional item, despite the inherent challenge that presented in narrowing down their vast menu to just one dish. I let Mike choose, and he selected the Tam Kai Yaang, a spicy roasted chicken salad with long beans, tomatoes, peanuts, Thai chiles and cilantro in a traditional garlic, lime juice and fish sauce dressing. Given the choice of three different rices, we opted for the fragrant jasmine rice, which I thought was the prefect complement to the abundant flavors of the chicken salad.

Tam Kai Yaang, Pok Pok PDX

Pok Pok is southeast Asian street food at its very finest. The atmosphere is fun and unique, and the food is equally as distinctive and interesting. With so many other tempting dishes to try, I can’t wait to return. Next time, maybe I’ll try their iced hibiscus drink or, if I’m feeling particularly adventurous, their “drinking vinegars,” which don’t sound particularly appealing to me, but they are definitely a thing. Available in a variety of flavors, they’re rumored to aid digestion and have other health benefits. Pok Pok’s chef owner, Andy Ricker, discovered these drinking vinegars, called Som, in Asian markets and felt that their inherently tart-sweet flavor was a perfect complement for his spicy, salty entrees. He began experimenting with different flavors and now has a rotating menu of exotic tinctures, such as pomegranate, pineapple, ginger, apple, basil, tamarind and honey. Ricker likes to serve them on ice with soda water, or you can add a shot of liquor (gin is best, I hear) for an even bigger “punch.”

Pok Pok’s strawberry-basil drinking vinegar

Our delicious and exotic meal at Pok Pok inspired us to go in search of some interesting international food markets. With all of the incredible chefs in Portland, certainly there are some wonderful ethnic markets from which they source their ingredients, right? Seeking out new and noteworthy markets is one of our favorite pastimes, and we had yet to find a respectable grocery, so we were off to do some hands-on research.

And since we were already in the SE quadrant, we started with an Asian supermarket that I had seen in Portland Magazine. Fubonn, located at 2850 SE 82nd Ave., is advertised as the largest Asian shopping center in Oregon. Upon entering the “mall,” you will find a random selection of small booths selling everything from stereo equipment to mattresses and very oddly expensive statuary. But by far the most prominent tenant is the massive supermarket which comprises a majority of the mall space. If you have never been to a sprawling Asian grocery before, you will find the assortment of merchandise to be particularly unusual, such as this…

But once you get past the cookware, kitchen implements, plastic figurines and 50-pound bags of rice, you will likely find some curious and fascinating food items as well, like salted jellyfish, shredded squid and fish sausages (pictured below):

The meat department of Asian grocery stores is always of particular interest to us, as you can often discover some unique and hard-to-find items, like paper thin slices of beef and pork to simmer in hot pots. Fubonn was no exception and featured a couple of unusual items I actually had not seen anywhere before, and that’s saying quite a lot. Our favorite grocery back home, Fresh Farms, is a veritable feast for the eyes, the stomach and the imagination. Although predominantly Eastern European in scope, it offers just about everything in one very impressive store. The meat department at our Fresh Farms has at least a dozen butchers on any given day busily slicing, dicing and portioning meat products for customers. Beef tripe, stomach casings and whole pig heads are commonplace. So, the fact that Fubonn was displaying chicken feet, pig ears and pig hooves was not an unusual sight for us. But whole duck heads? That was a new one. And to think that their short lives were only worth $.99 per pound. 😦

My objection with Fubonn is the fact that their prices across the board are no better than those at, say, Safeway or Fred Meyer. Typically, I find that prices at large Asian markets tend to be significantly lower than average, providing a really great value. But not in this case. Additionally, I was unimpressed by the quality of their vegetables and other “fresh” produce — again, an area in which Asian markets traditionally excel. For those two reasons, coupled with its fairly remote location, it’s unlikely that we will be returning to Fubonn. But I’m still hopeful that we can find a market with greater selection, lower prices and better quality closer to home. So, off we go…

Since we were already on the far southeast side of town, we decided to check out Portland Mercado which Mike had discovered on a list of markets recommended by another food blogger. Located at 7238 SE Foster, it wasn’t difficult to find — just look for the colorful, multi-hued building and the gathering of food trucks on the south side of the street near SE 72nd Ave. (you will find ample parking around the back).

It turns out that Portland Mercado is less of a market and more of a Mexican food pod. In the modest interior space, you will find a small meat shop, some prepared foods and a bakery, as well as a few shelves of packaged products. There’s also a convenience store of sorts. But the real draw, I suspect, is the outdoor plaza where several food trucks offer a selection of Mexican and Cuban dishes, fruit smoothies, coffees and churros. A cluster of picnic tables provides plenty of seating for patrons to enjoy a meal and some live music. We happened to be there in the middle of the afternoon, so there were only a few customers milling about, but I’m sure it’s hopping during the lunch and dinner hours on a nice day. It’s very likely a great place to have lunch and pick up a few specialty items, but its limited inventory precludes it from being anything other than a dining destination for us in the future. So, we keep looking…

Next on the agenda was ABC Seafood which also was included in the list of food purveyors recommended by another blogger. Eager to discover a good, reasonably priced fishmonger, we were hopeful that ABC would be a real find. A small and unobtrusive storefront located at 6509 SE Powell Blvd., we actually passed right by on our first attempt to locate it. This is a no-frills seafood supplier. There’s nothing fancy about it, and I say that in only the nicest way. The front room showcases a variety of freshly caught fish, shellfish and mollusks, while the back room houses the large live lobster and fish tanks.

I must admit that I was underwhelmed by the minimal selection, but what they did offer appeared to be very fresh, likely caught locally or flown in that morning. And while there were some bargains to be found, like the Manila clams at $3.59/doz. (vs. $.50/ea. that I’m used to paying), other items, such as the lobsters for $13.99/lb, weren’t particularly good bargains worth going out of your way for. And since we were only window shopping on this visit, I can’t attest to the actual quality of the seafood; however, if their 4 1/2 star rating on Yelp is any indication, they must run a very respectable business. I look forward to going back to ABC when we are residing in Portland full time. Now I know where to go to find our annual New Year’s Eve lobsters.

If ABC Seafood skewed towards modest and unpretentious, our next stop was the complete antithesis. Stunningly beautiful Providore Fine Foods (2340 NE Sandy Blvd) is absolute eye candy and a foodie’s fantasyland. Both a shopping and a dining destination, PFF offers an impressive array of produce, meats, seafood, fresh pastas, baked goods and rotisserie items. Come to shop, but stay for a glass of wine and a dozen freshly shucked oysters.

Providore Fine Foods

As I have mentioned many times before, Portland is a town that embraces locals and locally made products. From the community-owned neighborhood co-op groceries to the abundance of locally sourced ingredients in many of the restaurants, Portland is all about supporting local purveyors. And nowhere is it more apparent than at Providore Fine Foods — the flowers, cheeses, fruits and veg, ice creams and butters, meats and alluring sundries lining the shelves, most everything in the store comes from the state of Oregon and is marked with the name of the farm, dairy or producer that created it. Take, for example, the “Three Little Figs” line of jams pictured below left. Made right in Portland, they blend locally grown figs with other regional ingredients to create sweet and savory spreads such as Sparkling Nectarine Jam, French Onion Confit, and Tomato Tapas Jam.

“3 Little Figs” preserves

Pasta selection at Providore Fine Foods

Similarly, the “Bee Local” line of artisan honeys (pictured below) is made in the farmland areas surrounding Portland. Stumptown Coffee Roasters offers Bee Local honey syrup as an alternative to sugar for their coffee drinks, and Pok Pok uses Bee Local honey for its honey-flavored Som drinking vinegars. All examples of local businesses supporting other local businesses.

One would naturally think that locally sourced foods would come at a more affordable price point, seeing as though they didn’t have to travel far to get there. But that’s typically not the case (although we did find some good values at the Portland farmers’ market). Since they’re produced in much smaller quantities than mass distributed items, such as what you might find at a Safeway or Walmart, their prices typically reflect their small-batch, artisan nature. In fact, pretty much everything at PFF is very high-end and high-priced, but it’s all so tempting and beautifully displayed that you almost don’t care.

Cheese selection at Providore Fine Foods

Providore Fine Foods

Additionally, PFF carries some very unique and hard-to-find items, like the Haku line of shoyu (traditional Japanese soy sauce), available in a variety of flavors including cherry blossom, smoked, and whiskey bottle fermented. For years, I have struggled to find a convenient source for fino sherry and champagne vinegars, but here I found a whole selection of them.

Providore Fine Foods

My husband excitedly found his beloved Tuscan pici pasta, and I found Japanese shiso leaves in the produce department, a product that has been frustratingly elusive…until now. If nothing else, that will keep me coming back.

Providore Fine Foods should have been our logical stopping point, the final act in our ongoing drama to find Portland’s best markets. But, alas, there was something still missing…something vitally important that we had yet to locate…sausages. So, we aimed the car for SE 12th Avenue and Edelweiss Sausage Shop. A tiny German-owned butcher and deli, Edelweiss is an authentic old-world market with a vast selection of meats, wursts, sausages and plenty of weiners. If you love sausages like we do, you owe it to yourself to check this place out. From braunschweiger, bier sausage and mettwurst to salami, pepperoni, liverwurst and andouille, these guys know a thing or two about encased meats. Almost all are handcrafted on-site by the Baier brothers who learned the trade from their father who emigrated from Bavaria to Portland in 1959. Additionally, the market stocks an impressive selection of German beers and European specialty foods, such as imported chocolates, German breads and an array of mustards.

Edelweiss also doubles as a sandwich shop, so go hungry. The hard part is deciding what to order — a Black Forest ham sandwich on rye? Bologna, possibly? Or a grilled sausage with sauerkraut and potato salad? Grab a bottle of Hoffbrau beer to help you make your decision. And on your way out, stock up on some Maultaschen (German-style ravioli stuffed with bratwurst) for when you’re hungry again later.

So, at the end of the day, we uncovered some highly interesting and distinctive specialty food stores — some of which we will return to, others that we likely won’t. But one thing I’m certain of — Edelweiss and Providore Fine Foods will be in the regular rotation. What we still didn’t uncover, however, was a full-service international grocery to replace our beloved Fresh Farms back home — one that offers an extensive selection of high-quality, reasonably-priced produce, meat and seafood, along with an expansive deli and assortment of packaged foods from around the world. Normally, I would say that finding all of that in one place would sound too good to be true, but believe me, it’s alive and well in Chicago, and the one thing we will surely miss. But we haven’t completely lost hope, so the search will continues. [If you’re reading this post and you know of a worthy international grocery in Portland, please drop me a line!]

Bar Avignon

After a long afternoon of research, we returned to the house for a little R&R. And although still slightly full from lunch at Pok Pok, we didn’t want to miss the opportunity for yet another Portland food experience, so we decided that a light meal of charcuterie was in order (or possibly we were inspired by our visit to Edelweiss). We walked a dozen blocks west on SE Division to a little corner wine bar that we had passed several times. As it turns out, Bar Avignon, 2138 SE Division, is the most quintessentially perfect, little wine bar you can possibly imagine. It was a quiet night, so we grabbed two seats at the bar to capture a view of the action behind the counter where the chefs and the bartenders share fairly tight quarters.

The kitchen at Bar Avignon

When in Rome, do as the Romans, they say…and when at a wine bar, drink wine…so I solicited the bartender for a recommendation for a yummy Willamette rose, while Mike chose a gibson martini spiked with pickle and brine. Due to the compact nature of the kitchen work space, Bar Avignon does not offer an extensive menu, but they have cleverly devised a well-balanced selection of charcuterie and sharing dishes, as well as a half dozen entrees. We started with Freddy Guy’s hazelnuts roasted with rosemary, sea salt and paprika (right). Who’s Freddy Guy you might ask? Well, like many other restaurants in Portland, Bar Avignon sources most of its ingredients from local vendors, like ‘Charles the Mushroom Man’ (below), and apparently Freddy Guy is their go-to nut purveyor.

Next, with guidance from our helpful server, we picked five selections from the charcuterie menu: 3 cheeses, chicken liver mousse and rabbit terrine.

Charcuterie at Bar Avignon

Cheese selection at Bar Avignon

Each was accompanied by a different spread carefully procured to complement the flavor of that particular item, like a house-made quince jam for the rabbit terrine and a local honey for the gorgonzola dolce. And each was absolutely delicious in its own right, particularly the little pot of silky chicken liver mousse which honestly I just wanted to bathe in.

After relishing in the breads and spreads, we weren’t particularly hungry, so we opted to share a bowl of their French onion soup which seemed like the perfect choice for a cool fall evening. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the only misstep in an otherwise wonderful meal. The chefs took some liberties with the traditional French-inspired recipe and the result was a cloying adaptation that was too thick, too rich and too sweet to be a satisfactory substitute in my opinion…and I missed the customary crown of gooey gruyere on top. But despite that minor gaffe, the evening was memorable, and I look forward to returning to Bar Avignon for Happy Hour and the opportunity to throw back some of their $2 oysters and another bottle of that delicious rose.

Day 14:

With only a couple of days left in our journey, we were anxious to get another hike under our belts, and we were ecstatic to wake to a beautiful, cool but sunny October morning. With his handy and invaluable ‘All Trails’ app on his phone, Mike plotted an in-town hike up Wildwood Trail through Forest Park to historic Pittock Mansion.

Forest Park comprises over 5,000 acres of hiking, biking and equestrian trails on the eastern slope of Portland’s northwest hills, which Native Americans originally called the Tualatin Mountains. The 30-mile Wildwood Trail within Forest Park is part of the region’s 40-Mile Loop system that links pedestrian routes along the Columbia River, through southeast Portland, along the Willamette Greenway, and back to the Marquam Trail in southwest Portland (which you may recall from Part III of my earlier blog post).

Unable to allocate enough time to complete the entire loop, we decided to pop in midway along the Wildwood Trail at the Macleay trailhead, located just east of the Audubon Society on NW Cornell Rd. The lower portion of Macleay Trail was closed for maintenance and erosion control when we were there, but we were primarily interested in the upper portion which leads to Pittock Mansion. We crossed the street from the designated parking area and accessed the clearly marked path.

Although rated as a moderate hike, there are some fairly steep uphill portions of the climb of about a mile or mile and a quarter, but it’s a nice, wide, well-groomed trail and very doable if you have a remote level of fitness. For the least amount of foot traffic, both on the trail and in the mansion, plan to leave around 9-9:15 a.m. (the mansion ticket office opens at 10:00 a.m.). You will know when you’ve reached the top of the hiking path when you ascend into a parking lot. Look to your left, and you will see the entrance to the Pittock Mansion compound.

Pittock Mansion

Completed in 1914, the 46-room mansion was built by Henry and Georgiana Pittock. Henry, a born Englishman, had traveled to Oregon in 1853 and began work at the Weekly Oregonian, a paper he took ownership of only seven years later. Georgiana was dedicated to improving the lives of local women and children, helping to found the Ladies’ Relief Society in 1867.

The French Renaissance-style chateau on 46 acres was, and still is, a stunning example of architectural excellence. The interiors were modeled on an eclectic collection of styles, including Jacobean, Edwardian, Turkish (below left) and French Renaissance, all based on the couple’s extensive travels abroad.

Turkish dome in the smoking parlor

Main staricase

The mansion also featured an elevator, two telephone systems, a walk-in refrigerator, a central vacuum system and multi-jet surround showers, among other newfangled innovations that only the wealthiest could afford at the time.

Henry and his children, including his two daughters, were all avid hikers who loved the property’s enviable position on top of the Tualatin Mountain range. From this vantage point, they enjoyed views overlooking town and of Mt. Hood in the distance.

View east from Pittock mansion

Georgiana, recognized for originating the tradition of Portland’s annual Rose Festival, enjoyed the extensive panoramic gardens surrounding the property. The mansion served as the couple’s home for only five years. Georgiana died in 1918; Henry a year later. The city of Portland purchased the estate in 1964, and it is now a beloved local landmark.

Plan on approximately one hour to see the mansion, the Gate Lodge and the surrounding gardens. Afterwards, you can make your way back down the Wildwood Trail, the same way you came up. Round trip hike with tour – 3 hours. If you’re not able to or interested in making the hike to the mansion, you can access it by road at 3229 NW Pittock Drive.

After emerging from Forest Park’s canopy of trees, we were slightly chilled and mighty hungry. This was the perfect time for a comforting bowl of steaming ramen! We headed straight for Marukin Ramen at Pine Street Market, 126 SW 2nd Ave. Arriving just slightly before noon, we were able to acquire two seats at the counter, where we could peer into the kitchen as they prepared the beautiful bowls of ramen. Unlike the extensive menu at Afuri, Marukin pretty much only offers ramen dishes, so we weren’t tempted to order anything other than their specialty. I opted for the tonkotsu red with pork, spinach, mushrooms and bamboo shoots in a spicy pork bone broth (left). Mike ordered the paitan red, a similar dish but in a spicy rich chicken broth (right). Both are also available in a non-spicy variation, but don’t be afraid to try the ‘red’ option, as they are not too spicy to be enjoyable.

Tonkotsu Red at Marukin Ramen

Paitan Red at Marukin Ramen

You think you’ve had ramen before, but then you try this and realize that what you’ve had before was only a sad imitation. Marukin is renowned for their hand-pulled noodles and rich bone broths, both made fresh, in-house every day. Mike and I agreed that my broth was slightly more complex than his, but both were utterly delicious and exploding with flavor. Afterwards, we felt as if we had been rejuvenated by a restorative soup for the soul.

Once revitalized, we were confronted with the dilemma of which adventure we would tackle in the remaining afternoon hours. Then, it came to us…the one thing we had yet to do in Portland…SHOP! It takes a miracle to get Mike into a clothing or home goods store, but one mention of hardware, and he’s ready to go. I’d seen an article in Portland Magazine about a funky place called Hippo Hardware (1040 E. Burnside), so we set off to see what interesting odds and ends they might have.

Hippo Hardware

You know you’ve arrived when you spy the Grecian-clad hippos adorning the columns out front. I’ve been to all sorts of quirky and eclectic hardware stores in my day, but this one broadens the scope. It’s actually not a hardware store per se, not in the modern sense of the word anyway, meaning that they don’t carry tools or paint or cleaning supplies. Hippo Hardware is more of museum — three levels of relics salvaged from derelict or delinquent properties displayed in an amusing sort of organized chaos. From vintage doorknobs and knockers to bathtubs, odd parts and old windows, there’s almost too much to see, if that’s possible. Imagine an entire floor of light fixtures from every imaginable era, displayed haphazardly this way and that…

Lighting dept. at Hippo Hardware

…and check out the antique porcelain sink with peculiar brass fittings and the old zinc tub with attached water tank that’s heated by a butane burner…

Hippo Hardware

But by far, our favorite item was the 1963 Electro-Sink Center, a handy all-in-one appliance that combines sink, mixer, blender, juicer, ice cream maker, and more all into one mind-boggling unit. It’s rumored that that perhaps Laura Petrie had this in her kitchen in one of the early episodes of the “Dick Van Dyke Show.” I’m tempted to watch all of the episodes just to see it in use.

1963 Electro-Sink Center at Hippo Hardware, Portland

The owner of Hippo Hardware is a quirky gent with plenty of stories to tell about his various merchandise, and he had plenty of fun telling us how he had acquired seven of these peculiarly intriguing Electro-Sink units. Some might call him a curator, and some might call him a hoarder who conveniently created a store to hide his addiction. But whatever you choose to call Hippo Hardware, it’s definitely a highly entertaining way to spend an hour or so. And, who knows, we might just need some of that stuff when we finally find our house!

After the curious Hippo experience, it was difficult to select a subsequent destination that would be half as compelling, but then we remembered the string of vintage shops we had often passed on SE Hawthorne and headed the car in that direction. We started with the most obvious, and the most visible, Vintage Pink, located at 2500 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Painted a conspicuous shade of bubblegum pink, you simply can’t miss it, and we had been vowing to go inside for nearly two weeks.

The vast 6,000+ square-foot showroom houses an impressive collection of mid-century modern, vintage, Danish, and retro furnishings and accessories compiled by some of Portland’s best vintage dealers. Each booth varies in scope, but everything is carefully selected and in excellent condition.

Vintage Pink Portland

Vintage Pink

From Vintage Pink, we headed 10 blocks west to Lounge Lizard, 1310 SE Hawthorne Blvd., which surprisingly turned out to be even more impressive in the quality of merchandise, as well as pricing. The bright and welcoming warehouse was brimming with premium vintage furniture and home accessories, kitschy lamps made of old toasters and other interesting finds. Right off the bat, I found two pieces that sparked my interest — an Asian sideboard and a vintage Lane lowboy dresser, both in near perfect condition. If only I had a house in Portland.

Lounge Lizard

Next door to Lounge Lizard, we couldn’t help but notice a kooky collectibles shop, curiously called Really Good Stuff, and their odd array of wares arbitrarily displayed on the sidewalk. Mike is always willing to browse any shop that might offer items of historic or cultural interest, and this one showed some potential. Once inside the cluttered and disorderly shop, we quickly realized that Really Good Stuff is not a misnomer. If you don’t mind some dust and are willing to dig, you can find some pretty cool stuff here. Each room is filled to the ceiling with an array of old antiquities and oddities, such as an 1890s butter churn, a functioning railroad crossing sign, a selection of accordions (not just one), film reels, an Indian headdress, old stereo equipment, vintage albums, and much, much more — it’s a veritable rabbit warren of fascinating finds.

Really Good Stuff, Portland

Two other must-see destinations for home interiors are located across the street from each other in the east central industrial district:

Rejuvenation Home, 1100 SE Grand Ave., offers a blend of new and salvaged home decor. For those of you unfamiliar with Rejuvenation (as I was), it’s basically a spin-off of Restoration Hardware with similar styles of furniture, lighting, bath fixtures and hardware, but with an interesting and eclectic mix of vintage/antique furnishings thrown in. Prices are relatively high compared with the other businesses on this list, but it’s definitely worth a visit.

Grand Marketplace, 1005 SE Grand Ave., houses dozens of vendors specializing primarily in carefully curated antiques, industrial items, and unique architectural items, although you will find much, much more in this treasure trove of home furnishings. Prices vary by vendor, but overall prices are quite reasonable.

Day 15 — our sad farewell:

Despite our attempts to fend off the inevitable, the culmination of our two-week stay had regrettably arrived. We spent the morning packing and tidying the house, and then there was one final decision to be made – where to go for our last meal. I was thinking we might grab a sandwich at Meat, Cheese, Bread, but Mike had a different idea — he wanted to return for another meal at Pok Pok…and I couldn’t disagree with that logic. So, we strolled down SE Division one more time, arriving at Pok Pok PDX just as they opened for lunch service.

Despite a slight chill in the air, we asked to be seated in the open-air front portion of the restaurant under one of their many heat lamps. I sincerely debated about trying one of the drinking vinegars, I really did, but ultimately I chickened out and instead ordered the Naam Manao, a fresh squeezed fizzy Thai limeade. A little sweet and a lot sour, it was simply delicious and a very good choice.

While snacking on their addictive spicy peanuts, we both spent a good twenty minutes reading over the in-depth menu before finally making our decisions. After much deliberation, I settled on the Yam Makheua Yao, a charcoal grilled eggplant salad topped with pork, prawns, shallots and crispy garlic, finished with a spicy dressing of Thai chiles, lime, and fish sauce. The smoky flavor of the charred eggplants was reminiscent of Middle Eastern babaganoush, which happens to be one of my very favorite dishes when done right. And this was done very right! The crumbled egg was an interesting, clearly regional, addition, as was the dried shrimp which somehow seems to find its way onto several of their dishes despite being inherently strange and difficult to chew. But the overall blend of flavors, completed by the pungent cilantro, was a winning combination and resulted in one of the better dishes I’ve ever had.

Yam Makheua Yao, Pok Pok PDX

Mike selected the Neua Naam Tok, a spicy flank steak “salad” with shallots, lemongrass, mint, cilantro and toasted rice powder (whatever that is), a dish that I also had had my eye on. Our server warned him that it is, as it states, very spicy, but never one to shy away from a challenge, he wasn’t deterred. She recommended the sticky rice as a soothing accompaniment, and we heeded her advice. But when she arrived with a plate of mustard greens tucked into a bed of ice and explained that chewing on the chilled stems is helpful in lessening the burn, he knew he might be in trouble.

Neua Naam Tok, Pok Pok PDX

After the first couple of bites, his forehead began to perspire, and then the coughing ensued. But he valiantly rose to the occasion and powered through to the end. I braved one small bite, which I can truthfully confirm was extremely hot. But, at the same time, the flank steak was very tender and tasty…if you can get beyond the heat factor. I, for one, was happy retreating to the comfort of my smoky eggplant.

Following lunch, we slowly strolled back to the house, past the restaurants, bars and coffee shops that had become our temporary neighborhood. After two weeks away, you would think we would be anxious to return home, but conversely Portland was starting to feel like our home. We had fully accomplished our intended goal of living like locals, and what we learned is that we absolutely can and will be able to assimilate in this funky town. We were sad to be leaving, but soon we will return as legitimate locals…real Portlanders-in-training, trying to blend in in a city of misfits just like us.

As we boarded the plane back to Chicago, we were high-fiving ourselves for having the foresight to book seats on the right side of the plane so that we could once again be rewarded with the tremendous view of Mt. Hood. It just never gets old. Maybe, if we are really, really, really lucky, we’ll find a house that affords us that amazing view every day. Only time will tell.

So long, Portland. Until we meet again…

If you missed the first installments of my Portland blog and want to read more about things to do, see and eat in the City of Roses, please visit the following links:

Part I — From the banks of Lake Michigan to the Oregon coast

Part II — From da farmers’ markets to da Bears and beyond

Part III — The days of wine and roses

Part IV — Doughnuts and pancakes and food trucks, oh my!

This travel guide of Portland is brought to you by 2peasinapod.online.

Day-by-Day in PDX – The Final Leg Our 2-week experiment of living like locals in Portland, OR (cont'd)... As we reluctantly approached the end of our 2-week "trial period" of living like local Portlanders, we experienced a wave of contrasting emotions -- first, we felt the mounting pressure to see and do as much as humanly possible in our remaining three days...coupled with a nagging feeling of disappointment at the idea of soon leaving this beautifully odd place...yet, at the same time, thrilled at the prospect of being able to return again soon...and next time as official Oregon residents.

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traitor-boyfriend · 2 years ago

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paragraphs-long episode 2 thoughts/comments/concerns incoming:

- this episode certainly felt more disjointed than the last, where the two concurrent story lines really don’t meet in a cogent way until the near-end of the episode, but with that said i didn’t hate it. there are some pacing issues, but while i certainly don’t think it was bad, but i hesitate to say it was great? i’d call it maybe average, i feel pretty neutral on it right now -- it has a lot of high moments despite that. though, this episode is really fascinating when we’re talking about character development. trey parker must’ve seen all the bitching and moaning i’ve done as of late about the lack of kyle-based plot lines and gave us a twofer (trey parker i know you read my blog please call me).

- ike crying as it cuts to the queen’s splayed dead body in the casket got a deep chuckle out of me. it’s funny how even ike sounds more adult now, too.

- kyle and ike fighting over the computer gave me the worst mid-aughts flashbacks to the “computer room” and fighting with my own brothers for screen time.

- butters has become SO conniving and i’m kind of into it… i have come to love butters’ progressive degradation as a character into something that is much. i don’t believe he’s intentionally trying to fuck with kyle but i do think that he picks up quickly on kyle’s affect and wastes no time in recruitment. bebe kicking the shit out of butters was also wonderful; it’s been a while since bebe’s had more than a nominal bone thrown her way so it was nice for her to have a couple speaking lines.

-it's inevitable given south park's role in television specifically to mock and parody american culture and celebrity that they will get it wrong sometimes in who they choose to go after and how hard. the case could easily be made given the public reckoning there's been over the public treatment of female celebrities specifically that someone like paris hilton is one of those people, or sarah jessica parker, or even someone like bono if you're so inclined; people had this conversation a lot surrounding britney spears and the dissolution of her conservatorship, though that's a fundamental misunderstanding of the message of that episode (and in a minor way, south park acknowledging its own role in that phenomenon.) i've been waiting to come back to this post because i wanted to see the response from a u.k. audience toward the worldwide privacy tour as well.

this, to me, is not one of those moments. this is absolutely an occasion where i’m on the side of south park and the tone of their mockery. sorry but i can’t even pretend to have sympathy for the richer-than-god failson of one of the oldest monarchies in the world. please keep in mind this in no way a defense of the royal family in any shape or form. this does not change that prince harry and meghan markle are extremely annoying opportunists; i did find it amusing to see the ways in which they cause disruption in the episode because it doesn’t feel that far off. the mention of all these interviews, books, tv shows and appearances, podcasts rehashing the same information over and over etc. are all set up for... what, exactly -- to garner support for meghan markle’s inevitable bid for some form of public office, probably something CA state-level? prince harry’s shitty, condescending advertisements hawking online therapy that both prey on vulnerable people who don't know how vastly unregulated and predatory these telehealth outlets are and cements his public image as a deeply sensitive & misunderstood victim? barf.

the most condemnation i've seen regarding this episode has to do with the idea south park is downplaying the role racism both within the royal family and the broader public of the united kingdom exhibited toward meghan markle, which is cited as one of the major reasons for the animosity between prince harry and the royal family. the episode seems to address this through one line specifically -- the line "he's ignoring me because i'm an ethnic woman!" and prince harry's "wait, you're ethnic?" i'm not going into depth about racism and meghan markle and the british royal family, but i do know from passing conversation i've had with lots of (american) people around the time of harry and meghan's wedding is that a lot of people did not know meghan markle was biracial until it became a prominent talking point. this wades into tricky waters about the american idea of the one drop rule, racial identity and racial perception, accusations of "blackfishing", racism in america and racism in the u.k., etc. i'm not going into great detail about that, but I can say that line from my own observation was a sentiment I heard pretty frequently, so I don't think it's pulled "out of thin air" as I've seen critics suggest. again, this is not me saying the british royal family is not racist -- just for clarity (it would be an insane thing to say regardless given that racism is interwoven into the structural history of the british monarchy) the question moreso how much this played a role in meghan markle's integration into royal life -- and this is matt and trey's answer from an american perspective. whether you find this astute or offensive depends on your inclinations when it comes to racial poststructuralism i suppose.

the only reservation i have in their portrayal is the implicit suggestion that prince harry is simply helpless to the whims of meghan markle as a gold digger and could be a halfway decent person outside her influence, which is far too charitable an olive branch to extend his way. my mother had a mild fascination with princess diana and thus both william and harry as they grew up and i remember a time where prince harry's various shenanigan's -- some innocuous, some significantly more egregious -- made for occasional fodder on the news, and this split from the royal family has been some of the best PR of his life considering he is now in a position to reap all the material benefit and privilege his life apart of royal lineage has awarded him (and continues to do so) yet distance himself as the moral black sheep and the more unsavory aspects of his family. though, the interview regarding his book (appropriately re-titled "waaagh") is a good dig at him.

- kyle, oh kyle... i think it’s a common fan interpretation of kyle to be sort of “above” more human pitfalls like self-consciousness or concern with what others think, and it made me glad to see the very opposite in this episode. i think kyle is less overt about these traits than someone like, say, stan or cartman has been in the past, but it’s very clear that kyle cares deeply about what people think of him and can easily become something of a fixation. we saw this pretty clearly in s21; in fact, self-image has been something of a recurring theme with kyle. he’s having a moment and much of that revolves around the constant existentialism in who am i? am i who i think i am or am i who others think i am? how much of people’s perception of me plays into who i actually am? is there any real delineation between the two? these are all very serious and philosophical questions that are at the heart of any discussion about identity; the battle between self-perception and being perceived, individual vs. group, man vs. himself.

there is SO. MUCH. to say about butters and kyle's entire conversation on the stairs about kyle's "brand"

Butters: Some kids call it your credibility or your reputation, but those things are just little parts of something much more important... Your brand. Think about it, Kyle. Who are you? Kyle: I'm just... I-I'm just me. Butters: See? You don't know what your brand is. So how is anyone else supposed to know? It's like a commercial for Kyle, but you're not putting a label on the jar. Kyle: Butters, this seems very out of character for you. Butters: That's because I've been workin' on my brand.

the importance placed on 'identity' has become such a huge conceptual restructuring in how we see ourselves and how others see us. i felt myself acutely in touch with kyle's confusion in stating that he is simply "just me" as this has been my own qualm in a lot of these discussions. but butters pitching it to him as that -- a jar without a label -- effortlessly puts it into simple terms that there needs to be an apparent, visual signifier that screams xyz adjective into public perception.

especially with the predominance of social media, this a huge issue for a lot of people now. a small example that captures this perfectly that most people can probably relate to is spotify wrapped! how many posts (especially on tumblr) do you see of people lamenting that they did not listen to enough 'cool' or 'obscure' music this year, or joking about leaving their spotify playing only 'cool' or 'obscure' music in the last few months of metrics gathering in the hopes of bumping this music into someone's top 5, half-hearted -joking-but-not-really anxiety about people seeing their "true" top artists and making fun of them or not thinking they are Deep or Serious or High Brow enough when it comes time to flood social media with a million different multi-colored cards distilling your personality down into a handful of songs and musicians? it's a nice idea in theory -- but what it culminates in practice is fostering a level of anxiety and self-policing into people who are so dependent on validation and positive affirmation through the internet, having to suppress a private self in favor of a public persona that is carefully cultivated and crafted for the sake of communicating "this is who i am" as opposed to just 'being.' this is not meant to ridicule these people, either -- it's an entirely normal human impulse to want to be understood our peers and community, for there to be concordant harmony between what we think of ourselves and what others think of us. if you considered yourself a generous person, would it not hurt you to hear, say, a loved one describe you as "selfish"?

if kyle does not know how to label himself, how will anyone else?

and it does not work to simply vocalize these traits -- they need to be exhibited in a nonverbal, aesthetic manner. you cannot tell people who you are lest they deem you a tryhard or disbelieve you. we see this when kyle approaches the guys after meeting with the man at cumhammer, where he tells them that he is a, "reliable, fun-loving, punctual, victim." kyle then declares that he's working on himself and that they'll like what they see, cue sad piano music. this is reiterated again by the brand manager who tells him that, "people can't see inside you. they can only see what kind of drink you're drinking."

at first i thought the whole idea of “branding” was going to lead into more about-face commentary on south park re: identity politics (every last identity trait being "victim" in particular i think alludes to this), but i think ‘brand’ itself is a more apt way to describe the manner we as a society are tacitly being encouraged to conceptualize ourselves as Things to be consumed rather than People meant to be experienced. social media specifically encourages people by a variety of means -- bombardment with advertisements, insidious interfaces and design functions designed to entice our baser, easily impressionable impulses not unlike casinos and front-end grocery check lanes, constant access and reminders to categorize ourselves -- to train our brains to monitor our own behavior to this insane degree.

we see just how desperate kyle is to be understood by his peers. more overtly than any other character i think, kyle hates to feel left out. we see how hurt he is in an episode like south park is gay -- the sense of betrayal that accompanies cartman, kenny, and stan dropping kyle for not following the fad and thus not being "cool," when the town issues a moratorium on his speeches (speeches being kyle's primary mode of communication with others and a way for him to process his own beliefs), wieners out etc., and that this isolation is extremely difficult for him to deal with. he is a very people-oriented person, whether those people be townspeople, friends, or family. so he begins to craft an image he thinks will make people like him more by exhibiting what he thinks they want to see from him: "i'm not going to complain about things, i'm more thick-skinned, and I want people to think I'm stronger mentally than I probably am."

but this is the problem -- kyle isn't any of those things, and he knows this! kyle is easily agitated, he is sensitive, and he does not hide distress well. so the only solution is to suppress his natural inclinations and project his cool Brand. It is extremely unnatural to see him saunter in to school as Cool Guy and the other boys show as such; they're confused mostly by kyle's behavior and find it odd. he thinks this is an improvement until he see butters' being beaten on the playground for the sake of his Brand.

his speech at the end that this discordance and suppression of our true selves leads us to be performers as opposed to people is a profound emotional revelation. i do truly love the ending of this episode -- with kyle initially upset with ike for not getting over his emotions and quickly accepting that this is who ike is -- "things get to you, it's who you are" -- in a way that is also a conscious acceptance of who *kyle* is. he walks forlorn out into the living room to hear a knock at the door and see his friends all there, wanting him to get out of the house as he's going through a lot, with kyle thanking them as they go out to play, inviting him to get out of his own head and be present with them as a group. a very touching thought to end on.

I missed the episode last night and I'm stuck at stupid work so my paragraph long post about the new episode is late but forthcoming.

#long post

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